Confessions of a Social Climber

“The female of the species is much more dangerous than the male,” at least that’s what a song says. We already know how much a girl can hurt you after a break-up (or during a relationship! Haha!) and there’s no need to veer towards that.

Notice the everyday office type — wearing heels that make her calves pop out, dressed in a suit that hides her girlier features, and carrying a purse. Take note, a normal girl-purse. Did you know that the stuff inside a girl’s purse is lethal? That normal-looking office-type you were staring at? She’s really actually packing! She lugs around a variety of objects that are dangerous both to her, and to others! Really!

Eyecurler / Eyeliner – I have a friend who’s deathly afraid of the eyecurler. When asked why, he said … “it curls … the eyes!” Well, yeah, plus they accentuate whatever theme you have going on for the day. The thing is, one curls the eye, and one’s essentially a pencil FOR the eye. How scary is that?

Dental floss – If she’s a girl who values oral hygiene, she doesn’t have killer breath, but she has killer equipment. There’ve been news about toothpaste and dental floss being used to cut down steel bars in prison. Think how durable that piece of wire can be as something to inhibit your breathing, Hitman 47 style.

Cosmetics! – Some cosmetics are just plain scary. When they’ve spent too long a time in someone’s purse, bag or make-up kit, the brushes contract bacterium upon bacterium! Remember that some of these stuff get absorbed in the blood stream.

How about the men on the net? What other items in your girl’s purse are you afraid of?